Interview with 龍歩ー亥ぇ暈具 for Interracial Intersection.

What Asian ethnicities do you think are most open to interracial relationships?

It really doesn’t matter when it comes to ethnicity. What matters is his upbringing and family environment. The more traditional his family is, the more close-knit they will be. They will have a much larger impact on his life. So you would need to be prepared for a long battle to prove yourselves to them in the case that he is willing to go against his family. The more modern or liberal the family, the more open they will be.

What are some good places to meet Asian men?

It’s not “where do I go to find Asian men,” it’s really more along the lines of “what kind of man am I looking for?” Asian men are just like any other man: they aren’t all nose deep in a book and glued to their computers. If you are looking for an intellectual man, then go to a bookstore, and browse the shelves near a genre or topic you enjoy. If you are after an athletic man, go to the gym or park. Etc. When you know what you want then you know where to find what you are looking for. They will show up, soon or later. Strike up a conversation.

How can I attract Asian men?

The most obvious ways: body language, speech, minimize the distance between you, express interest in conversation, honesty, etc. If he is dense or seems to be playing dumb, let him know that you are interested. That I think would be the most important. Asian men usually won’t make first contact for the simple fact that most wouldn’t even begin to think that you are interested. Don’t come off as easy or loose. That will be the wrong kind of attention. He may sleep with that type but he probably won’t consider a relationship with one. A emotional connection is more important. Conservative yet stylish. Just nothing overboard.

When did you stop caring what people thought of his attraction towards black women? You must have gone through some questioning or mockery because of it.

That probably depends on the guy and his particular background. As for me, I probably never cared to begin with. I still get a lot of angry looks and disapproval from many people. Especially Black Men.

I would say that it would be when he feels that potential for a fruitful and happy relationship overcomes any hesitant thoughts or feelings and he decides that it is worth the risk.

What are some things I should know about Asian guys?

Most Asian men are not necessarily shy, but their cultures tend to demand silence and endurance. We are less likely to speak up about things we dislike, but just keep it in so as not to ruin things for the people around us. Instead of voicing those dislikes, we are more likely to show our opinion in small subtle gestures. This is one of the things that has caused problems in my own marriage, though we have been able to work on it. We tend to need our own alone time and space to pursue hobbies or personal peace. When too much of that is taken away, we stress and eventually want to run. I say that, but in retrospect, it likely applies to any male.

We are taught to:

• Only give an opinion when asked.
• Enigmatic speech. Refuse to answer or lie when asked for an opinion that has a negative answer. For example, when I say something there is a high chance I mean something different. If I don’t like something, I won’t say anything for a very long time, but I will hint to my feelings on the subject as time goes by. It’s your job to figure it out. If you don’t then I will eventually vocalize it, angry.
• When giving an honest answer, be extremely blunt.
• Take many things literally as well as philosophically.
• Trust no one.
• Trust everyone.
• Live by honor.
• Duty first. For example, I may hate a family member with a passion, but if they need help and whether or not they deserve it, I must do it out of duty, depending on the type of help. If I have to work or study, don’t bother me, it IS my priority before everything else until my task is done.
• Politeness. Even when I am angry or in a heated argument, I will rarely curse and I have a very hard time respecting anyone who cannot return that courtesy.
• Expect respect and in turn give it.
• Shame me, I shun you.
• Guard your emotions. I am mostly like a stoic person that rarely shows my true emotions and may come off as very cold when stating my true opinions. I probably have many faces or personas; the one I show in private is probably the only important one.
• Protect your and your family’s pride and honor. Attack my own, expect what could be considered a “blood feud.”
• Hold back on violence, to a point. If you hit me and I deserve it, then I will take in stride. If you hit me and I don’t deserve it or you go overboard, then expect it to be returned, tenfold, no matter who you are.