As with most other anti-interracial arguments I address on this blog, I’ve never personally heard this one in real life since I’m not drawn to individuals who have this type of mentality. Still, I know there are women out there who hear this regularly and therefore may benefit from hearing it addressed.
Certain people who have issues with interracial couples use the argument that the people in them are “self-hating” and have a desire to “breed out their genes.” According to this juvenile reasoning, all black people in interracial relationships are only in them because we want “light-skinned, good-haired babies.”
No matter who you create a child with, 50% of your DNA is passed down to your child.
Like any other children, “biracial” children will more closely resemble one parent or the other, or they will be somewhat in between.
When a random person sees an interracial couple in which one member is black and the first thing that comes into the random person’s mind is that the black member of the couple wants “light-skinned/”good-haired” babies, the first thought that comes to my mind is that this random person has issues that and projects them onto others.
Most humans when choosing a mate look for such traits as quality genes, ability to provide, attractive, ability to protect, quality (i.e. healthy) genes, parenting skills, and so on. There are biological imperatives to finding partners with traits such as the one I listed above. Meanwhile, as far as I know, there is no biological impulse to breed babies of a particular color (as races aren’t biological, but rather socially created groups, there is no biological drive to preserve any collection of traits arbitrarily categorized as “races” by society). I usually try to be nonjudgmental, but I must admit I find it ridiculous for someone to choose mates on that basis. It’s hard to fathom the idea of someone walking around, thinking, “This person is so nice, has similar values, is family- and goal-oriented, but…he/she would give me babies that are too light/too dark.” I would say that such a person has their priorities out of order. In my opinion, it seems like a juvenile way of selecting or eliminating potential mates/parents for ones children that it’s difficult to believe that some adults do this. Still, it’s their life, not mine, so I don’t concern myself too much about it.
I have all types of people in my family. I have a family member, relatives and friends who are married to Latino, white or Chinese people, and several people at my church growing up appeared to be part Indian. I grew up with cousins who were part white or Latino, and my sister (who has a different biological mother but was raised by mine after hers passed), is lighter than Beyoncé. To me, it was all simply…people marrying people. In my parents’ country, most citizens are black, but there are also many Chinese, Indian, white and Lebanese people. Quite a lot of interracial relationships occur, though they aren’t really looked at as “interracial.” Those born there are considered “one people” – a single nation. My father mostly thought of people as individuals (no easy feat, as he was here during the segregation era), and he and my mother taught me to do the same. “Good hair” is a term that was never used in my home or by any of the people I knew growing up. I still don’t know anyone in person who speaks this way.
Some Blacker-than-thou individuals go on witch hunts for people they think want “light-skinned/good-haired babies” and say something like: “Yeah…well, you want a light-skinned, good-haired baby. Well I want brown babies, so I’m better than you, self-hater.” I have to admit I laugh when I read such things, because I have trouble wrapping my mind around what seems to me to be a childish concept, and these people condemn others they believe breed by color when they do the same. Since this type of thinking has never been a part of my world, I don’t take it personally. I know it’s a simple, singular-minded person with a lot of racial baggage which they are trying to cast onto me. People like this don’t know who they are outside of the bounds of a socially-created “racial” identity. Their lives revolve around “race”: every thought they have, action they take, place they go, fashions they choose, where they work, whether they get an education, where they get it if they do it, who they relate to – all of this is done with “race” in mind. Since they can’t imagine a life outside of this, they assume others must be as race-driven as they are. They believe people pick black partners to “breed brown babies,” “show pride,” etc. They believe that if I’m in a relationship with a non-black person, then my goal must be the opposite: to breed light babies and show self-hate.
Since I met the man who is now my spouse when I was in my late teens, I wasn’t thinking about marriage at the time, much less children. Now when I think about children (we’re trying for twins;-) I think how they will be the product of the man I love, and how I am looking forward to sharing the experience of raising children with him. I hope to see his face in theirs as well as mine, simply because they would be little reminders of the person I love most in the world. I feel secure that my children will be raised by a person who I know will be a tender, loving father who will instill good moral values in them, and work hard to give them a chance at a good future.
What I do not see as important is what color children he’ll “breed.” Breeding kids for some physical feature or another reminds me of animals being selectively bred to get a thicker coat of fur or something, which is why I refer to it as “breeding.”
The reality is, MOST people don’t go out searching for someone who looks exactly like the opposite sex version of themselves. Do men who prefer shorter women or women who prefer taller men all hate themselves and want to breed kids of a different height? That would mean a very large percentage of people in the world hate themselves. Do blonde women hate themselves when they have kids with men who do not have blond hair? Blond hair is a recessive gene and therefore their children probably won’t have that feature. No one would make these accusations. Yet a certain crowd tries to control other black people by attempting to guilt us into having children based on superficial traits. I can’t speak for others, but personally, I’m not interested.
To them, “self-love” is simply about what color babies one breeds. Whether or not you and your partner are in love, he treats you well, you have similar values and goals, don’t factor into their definition. This means that a woman like the one in the video in the previous post is automatically included under the definition of “self-love” because she bred babies of the right color. So would someone who went through a series of abusive relationships and had a “properly colored” child in each. Meanwhile, in the lives of the Blacker-than-thou crowd, a woman would be automatically excluded from the “self-love” category if she pairs with a man who treats her well, marries her, helps her raise and provide for their children together – but isn’t the “right” color in certain people’s eyes. I find that backward.
Read also my other article on this subject, “Why Humans Can’t Preserve ‘Races.’ “